How Much Should You Ask for in an Online Funeral Fundraiser?

One of the hardest parts of creating an online funeral fundraiser can be deciding what number to put in that little box marked fundraising goal.

Ask for too little, and you may still be left trying to figure out how to cover expenses. Ask for too much, and you may worry that people will think you're being unreasonable.

So what is the right amount?

There isn't one number that's right for every family. A better approach is to stop thinking about how much you should ask for and start figuring out how much help you actually need.

Your fundraising goal should come from your family's real expenses and resources—not from embarrassment, guesswork, or what someone else's fundraiser asked for.

Start With the Actual Funeral Expenses

Before choosing a fundraising goal, find out what the funeral is actually expected to cost.

That sounds obvious, but funeral expenses can come from several different places. The funeral home's estimate may not include the cemetery, monument, flowers, obituary, printed materials, reception, travel expenses, or other costs associated with the service.

The FTC recommends asking funeral homes for itemized prices and a written statement showing the services and merchandise you've selected. Funeral homes are also required to provide price information over the phone when asked.  

Gather the numbers you know so far and make a simple working total. You don't need every last expense figured out before creating your fundraiser, but having a realistic estimate gives you a much better place to begin.

Then Subtract the Money You Already Have Available

Your fundraiser doesn't necessarily need to pay for the entire funeral.

Suppose the funeral, cemetery, and other expenses are expected to total $14,000. Your family may already have $5,000 available from savings, family contributions, insurance, or other resources.

That leaves a $9,000 gap.

In that situation, $9,000 may be a much more meaningful fundraising goal than simply choosing $10,000 because it sounds like a reasonable number.

Depending on your circumstances, resources that may reduce the amount you need to raise could include savings, life insurance, Veterans burial benefits, Social Security benefits, employer or union benefits, church or community assistance, state or local assistance, and contributions family members have already committed to make.

This is one reason I recommend looking through our Help Paying for a Funeral Resource Center before deciding how much you need to raise. Fundraising may be only one part of the solution.

It's Okay If You Need Help With the Entire Amount

Of course, some families don't have money available to subtract.

A death may have been completely unexpected. There may be little or no life insurance. Savings may have already been depleted by medical bills or other expenses. The person who died may even have been the family's primary source of income.

If that's your situation, don't feel that you're supposed to somehow come up with part of the funeral cost before you're "allowed" to ask others for help.

You can ask for what you genuinely need.

The important thing is to explain the situation clearly and honestly.

Don't Choose Your Goal Based on What Other Families Asked For

It's tempting to look at other funeral fundraisers and think, They asked for $5,000, so maybe that's what I should ask for.

But their circumstances aren't yours.

One family may already own a cemetery plot. Another may be choosing cremation. Someone may have life insurance. Another family may need to transport their loved one across the country. One family may be holding a small memorial at home while another is arranging a traditional funeral and burial.

Even among actual memorial campaigns, fundraising goals can vary widely because the expenses and circumstances behind them vary. Current Spotfund memorial fundraisers, for example, show goals ranging into the tens of thousands depending on what the family is trying to cover.  

Your number doesn't need to look like anyone else's.

It needs to make sense for your family.

Be Specific About What the Money Will Cover

People are often more comfortable contributing when they understand what they're helping with.

You don't need to publish your family's bank statements or explain every financial detail. But instead of simply saying, "We need $8,000," explain generally where that money will go.

You might write:

We are hoping to raise $8,000 to help with the remaining funeral home expenses, cemetery costs, and memorial service after the resources our family already has available.

Or:

Our family was not prepared for the unexpected cost of John's funeral and burial. We are hoping to raise $12,000 toward the funeral home, cemetery, transportation, and memorial expenses.

That kind of transparency helps donors understand the purpose of the fundraiser. The FTC also advises people donating through crowdfunding sites to understand who organized a campaign and what the money is intended to support.  

Should You Add a Little Extra for Unexpected Expenses?

I think this can be reasonable—as long as you're transparent about it.

Funeral expenses have a way of appearing in places you didn't anticipate. Additional death certificates, transportation, obituary charges, travel, food, flowers, printing, cemetery expenses, and other small costs can add up quickly.

If your known financial gap is $7,600, setting a goal of $8,000 may make more sense than pretending you know the final total down to the last dollar.

What I wouldn't recommend is dramatically inflating the goal "just in case."

The number should still have a reasonable connection to what you expect the funeral and related expenses to cost.

What If Your Fundraising Goal Seems Too High?

This is where families sometimes become uncomfortable.

You calculate everything and discover that you actually need $12,000, $15,000, or even more.

Then you think:

"I can't ask people for that."

Remember that a fundraising goal isn't an invoice being sent to one person.

You aren't asking your cousin for $15,000.

You're creating an opportunity for many people to contribute whatever amount feels comfortable to them. One person may give $20. Someone may give $50. A relative may give $500. Someone else may not donate at all but may share the fundraiser with dozens of people.

Small contributions can accumulate.

Your goal simply tells people what your family is trying to accomplish.

You Don't Have to Reach 100% for the Fundraiser to Help

This is something I think families need to hear.

If you need $10,000 and your fundraiser brings in $6,200, you did not fail.

Your family now has $6,200 toward an expense that still had to be paid.

You may combine that money with family contributions, benefits, community assistance, insurance proceeds, savings, or other resources.

Funeral funding doesn't have to come from one place. In fact, for many families, piecing together several sources of help may be the most realistic approach.

So don't make the fundraising goal emotionally bigger than it needs to be.

It's a target. It isn't a test.

What If You Raise More Than You Expected?

This is another situation worth thinking about before you publish the fundraiser.

If contributions exceed the immediate funeral expenses, decide how additional funds will be used and communicate that clearly.

Depending on the family's circumstances, additional funds might help with a headstone or monument, remaining cemetery expenses, travel costs associated with the funeral, other documented memorial expenses, or another purpose that was clearly explained to donors.

If your fundraiser is also intended to help a surviving spouse or children with immediate needs after the death, say that from the beginning rather than quietly changing the purpose later.

Clarity matters.

Crowdfunding platforms have their own rules, and the FTC recommends understanding who controls the funds, how they'll be used, what fees apply, and when money will be paid out before using or donating through a platform.  

Remember to Account for Processing Fees

Before setting your final goal, check the fees charged by the fundraising platform you're using.

I personally recommend Spotfund for funeral and memorial fundraising. Spotfund currently advertises 0% platform fees, although standard payment-processing fees of 2.9% plus 30 cents per transaction still apply.  

That distinction matters. If you need a specific amount available after processing fees, your fundraising goal may need to be slightly higher than the amount of the bills you're trying to cover.

Affiliate disclosure: If you create a fundraiser through the Spotfund links on this page, we may receive a referral benefit at no additional cost to you. I recommend Spotfund because I believe it's a useful option for families, not because you're required to use it.

A Simple Formula for Choosing Your Funeral Fundraising Goal

If all of this still feels overwhelming, simplify it.

Start with the estimated total funeral and related expenses. Subtract the money and benefits you reasonably expect to have available. Then consider a modest amount for legitimate funeral-related expenses that haven't been finalized yet and account for any applicable fundraising processing fees.

What's left is a reasonable starting point for your fundraiser.

For example, imagine your expected funeral and related expenses total $16,000. You have $4,000 available from savings and family contributions and expect another $2,000 from other confirmed resources.

That leaves approximately $10,000.

A fundraising goal around $10,000 would therefore have a reason behind it.

And that's really what you're looking for—not a perfect number, but an honest number you can explain.

If You're Still Uncomfortable Asking

You may calculate exactly what you need and still find yourself staring at the screen, unable to publish it.

That's understandable.

Asking for financial help can feel deeply personal, especially when you're grieving.

Remember that you're not forcing anyone to give. You're telling people what has happened, explaining what your family needs, and giving those who want to help an opportunity to do so.

If the wording is what has you stuck, read How to Gracefully Ask for Funeral Donations. And if you haven't created your fundraiser yet, our How to Create an Online Funeral Fundraiser guide walks you through the process step by step.

Final Thoughts

There isn't a universally correct amount to ask for in a funeral fundraiser.

For one family, $2,500 may close the gap. Another may genuinely need $15,000. Someone else may need substantially more because of transportation, cemetery expenses, or other circumstances surrounding the death.

The right goal is the one you can arrive at honestly: what does this funeral and its related expenses cost, what resources do we already have, and what amount do we still need help covering?

Start there.

Be transparent about what you're raising money for. Don't apologize for having a legitimate need, and don't feel pressured to make the number smaller simply because asking for help feels uncomfortable.

Then allow the people who care about your family to decide whether—and how—they would like to help.

Ready to Create Your Funeral Fundraiser?

If you've worked through the numbers and know approximately how much help your family needs, you can create an online memorial fundraiser and begin sharing it with family, friends, and your community.

I recommend Spotfund because it's straightforward to use, offers memorial fundraising tools, and currently charges no platform fee beyond standard payment-processing fees.  

Create Your Funeral Fundraiser with Spotfund →