What to Do If Your Funeral Fundraiser Doesn't Raise Enough

Creating a funeral fundraiser can feel like a lifeline when your family is facing expenses you were not prepared for. You choose a goal, share the fundraiser with friends and family, and hope enough people will be able to help. 

But sometimes the donations simply don't reach the amount you need.

Maybe the fundraiser started strongly and then slowed down. Maybe fewer people saw it than you expected. Maybe the people who love your family are struggling financially themselves. Or perhaps the funeral costs turned out to be higher than you originally anticipated.

If your funeral fundraiser doesn't raise enough, it does not mean you did something wrong—and it doesn't mean you've run out of options.

There are still practical steps you can take.

Start by Looking at What the Fundraiser Did Raise

When your fundraiser falls short of its goal, it's natural to focus immediately on the amount that's missing.

Try looking at the amount you did raise first.

If the funeral will cost $8,000 and your fundraiser raised $3,000, you haven't failed to raise $5,000.

You have $3,000 that you didn't have before.

That money may be enough to cover the funeral home's initial payment, cremation or burial expenses, transportation, flowers, printed materials or another important part of the service.

The fundraiser doesn't necessarily have to pay for everything to make an enormous difference.

Find Out Which Expenses Have to Be Paid First

When there isn't enough money to cover everything, it helps to separate immediate necessities from expenses that can be changed, postponed or eliminated.

Talk with the funeral home about exactly what must be paid and when.

Ask for an itemized statement if you don't already have one. Look carefully at the services and products you've selected and ask whether there are less expensive alternatives.

You may discover that some choices can be adjusted without changing the heart of the service you're planning.

A meaningful funeral or memorial is not measured by how much the family spends.

Talk Honestly With the Funeral Home

Don't wait until a payment is due to tell the funeral director that you're having difficulty covering the remaining balance.

Ask what options may be available.

Depending on the funeral home and circumstances, there may be opportunities to modify arrangements, choose less expensive merchandise or services, or discuss payment requirements and timing.

You don't need to be embarrassed about having the conversation. Funeral professionals regularly work with families who are trying to balance what they would like to provide with what they can realistically afford.

The sooner you know your options, the easier it is to make informed decisions.

Give Your Fundraiser Another Chance

A fundraiser slowing down doesn't necessarily mean it's finished.

Many people may simply have missed the original post.

Share an update explaining where things stand and thank the people who have already contributed. You can let supporters know how much their help has accomplished and, if additional funds are still needed, explain what remains.

For example:

We are incredibly grateful to everyone who has donated and shared our fundraiser for Dad. Your generosity has helped us cover a significant portion of his funeral expenses. We still have some costs remaining, so if you're able to share the fundraiser again, we would be very grateful.

Notice that you don't have to pressure anyone into donating.

Sometimes another share is just as valuable as another donation.

Ask Other People to Share It

You don't have to be the only person promoting the fundraiser.

Ask relatives, friends, coworkers or members of your loved one's community to share it with people you may not be able to reach yourself.

Your loved one may have had connections through work, church, school, military service, volunteer organizations, clubs, neighborhoods or other communities.

One person sharing the fundraiser with a different circle of people can introduce it to an entirely new audience.

Look Beyond Fundraising for Financial Help

If the fundraiser still isn't enough, fundraising doesn't have to be your family's only source of assistance.

Depending on your loved one's circumstances, there may be benefits or programs that can help with some funeral or burial expenses.

These might include veterans burial benefits for eligible veterans, certain Social Security benefits, employer or union death benefits, or local and state assistance programs for qualifying families.

That's also why it's worth checking benefits before assuming the remaining balance has to come entirely out of your family's pocket.

If you're already on our Help Paying for a Funeral resource page, you'll find information about several of these possibilities in the Financial Assistance section.

Ask Whether Family Members Can Help With Specific Expenses

Sometimes asking relatives to contribute toward one specific expense feels more manageable than asking someone to cover a large remaining balance.

One family member might be willing to pay for flowers. Someone else may offer to cover the obituary fee or printed funeral programs. Another relative might help with food for the gathering afterward.

People may also be able to contribute in ways that don't involve money at all.

Someone might provide transportation, prepare food, create a photo display, help gather photographs or take responsibility for another task that otherwise would have cost money.

Reducing an expense can be just as helpful as raising another dollar.

Be Careful About Taking on Debt

When a family is grieving and facing an immediate deadline, putting the remaining funeral expenses on a credit card or borrowing money can feel like the fastest solution.

But an expense that lasts a few days can become debt that lasts for months or years.

Before borrowing, make sure you understand the interest rate, fees, repayment terms and what the payments will realistically mean for your household budget.

Grief creates enough stress on its own. Whenever possible, avoid turning funeral expenses into a long-term financial burden that your family cannot comfortably manage.

It's Okay to Change the Plan

This can be one of the hardest things to accept.

You may have imagined a particular funeral, burial, gathering or memorial for someone you love. Changing those plans because of money can feel as though you're somehow giving them less.

You're not.

The purpose of a funeral is to honor a life, allow people to gather, remember the person who died and say goodbye.

That can happen in a beautiful chapel with elaborate flowers.

It can also happen in someone's home, at a graveside, in a church fellowship hall, at a park or during a simple gathering of the people who mattered most.

The amount you spend is not a measure of how much you loved them.

Use What You Have, Find What Help Is Available, and Let That Be Enough

If your funeral fundraiser doesn't reach its goal, take another look at what it has accomplished.

People cared.

They donated.

They shared.

They helped your family carry a financial burden during an incredibly difficult time.

Use those funds where they will help most. Explore the benefits and assistance that may be available. Adjust expenses where you can. Accept practical help from the people around you.

And give yourself permission to create the farewell your family can realistically afford.

It doesn't have to be expensive to be meaningful.

It just has to honor the person you love.