Learning to Breathe Again

Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. It doesn’t move in straight lines or fade on cue. Just when you think you’re doing “better,” a memory surfaces — a song, a scent, a photo — and suddenly, it’s as if the loss just happened yesterday.

That’s because grief doesn’t disappear. It changes shape. It comes and goes, like waves on the shore — sometimes soft and steady, sometimes powerful enough to take your breath away.

If you’ve felt those waves, know this: you’re not going backward. You’re just learning to breathe in deeper water.

The Nature of the Waves

Grief arrives in its own rhythm. There will be days when you feel strong, full of faith and gratitude for the life you shared. And there will be days when you can barely get out of bed. Both kinds of days are part of healing.

When a new wave hits, it can feel like failure — like you’ve lost the progress you made. But healing isn’t measured by how long it’s been since you cried. It’s measured by your courage to keep going, even when the tears return.

God designed the heart to expand and contract, to feel deeply and to recover slowly. Every wave of grief is also a wave of love — proof that your heart remembers, that it still cares, that it still beats for something eternal.

Learning to Ride the Tide

When the emotions rise, don’t fight them. Fighting only makes you tired. Instead, let yourself feel. Cry if you need to. Pray if you can. Sit in stillness and let the tide roll through you.

Sometimes it helps to breathe slowly — in and out — saying something like, “Lord, carry me through this wave.” Over time, you’ll notice that what once felt like drowning begins to feel like floating. The waves are still there, but you’ve learned how to move with them.

You might also find comfort in simple grounding moments: walking outside, touching something steady, or speaking your loved one’s name aloud. These actions remind your body that you are safe, loved, and not alone.

God in the Deep Waters

Scripture reminds us, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.” (Isaiah 43:2)
Notice that it doesn’t say “if” — it says when. God doesn’t promise a life without deep waters, but He promises His presence within them.

In those moments when grief’s tide rises high, imagine His hand reaching for yours. You may not see Him, but He is there — steady, patient, holding you through every current.

And one day, when the tide finally calms, you’ll look back and realize that even the hardest waves carried you closer to peace.

Healing isn’t about staying dry — it’s about learning to trust the One who walks with you through the storm, and knowing that love will always bring you safely to shore.